WARNINGS: Explicit Non Consensual Sex (M/F); violence

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DISCLAIMERS: The Forever Knight characters belong to Columbia Tri/Star. No copyright infringement is intended. This story and all other characters are copyrighted by me.

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This story is NOT my usual sort. I frankly, fought writing it, but it demanded that I do so. 

Sometimes, You Can Go Home Again (1/3)
By Nightlady
(c) 1999


The wind cut through the thin jacket she had on, adding its chill to the falling rain. Shivering, she tried to pull the jacket closer to her, but her numbed fingers wouldn't cooperate. She'd been stumbling through the cold, wet night for close to three hours and she knew that she couldn't go much farther.  She looked around, only two more block to what she hoped would be safety and shelter. Doubts assailed her. What if he weren't there? What if she was no longer welcome? Tears mixed with the rain on her cheeks, stinging where they coursed over the still open cuts. Stumbling, she forced herself to keep moving. Forced herself to believe that she could still undo the mistake she'd made almost three months earlier. 

At last the old warehouse came into view. She stopped, her heart pounding, to look at it. Fear and regret washed through her as she recalled the last time she came here, but fear of returning to the place she'd just left was greater.  At the door she hesitated, then carefully punched in the alarm code numbers, as she had done so many times in the past. A sob of relief tore itself from her chest as she saw the lights go green and heard the soft click of the lock opening. Stepping inside she paused to lean against the garage wall, grateful to be out of the wind and rain. A glance showed her that the garage was empty. He wasn't here. A mixture of disappointment and concern filled her.   She smiled softly. The old habit of worrying about him still persisted; along, she had to admit, with the old habit of loving him. She pushed away from the wall and walked to the lift.

Nick was heading up the stairs to change out of his work clothes before spending another dawn silently staring into the flames of the fire he'd kindled. He'd had to drop the Caddy at his mechanic's and flown home. When he heard the lift motor begin a puzzled expression crossed his face as he tried to imagine who would be visiting him. At one time, not long ago, he'd have known that it was Nat stopping by for a visit. Nick closed his eyes; even now her absence from his life was an ache that haunted his days. In the past months, ever since the near disaster on the night LaCroix had left Toronto, Nick had become more solitary than ever. He loved her and always would, but between his guilt over nearly killing her and the mental strain she'd suffered from the images he'd been unable to keep from her, their relationship had withered. When he'd first visited her in the hospital, after she'd regained consciousness, he could see the fear of him in her eyes, and, not wanting to impede her progress, he'd never returned.  

Nat had not yet returned to her job at the Coroner's Office. Officially, she was on extended medical leave. It had taken almost two months before she'd been released from the hospital, and she was still undergoing rehabilitation to build back the muscles the prolonged hospitalization had weakened. Nick had heard, through Grace, that Nat had met a physical therapist during her recovery and, just over two weeks ago, had moved into his house. That news had nearly broken Nick. The thought of Nat in another man's arms was like a knife in his gut. He'd thought of also leaving Toronto, but the idea of being that far from where Nat was more than he could bear. A part of Nick regretted not having fought more to save their relationship, but he'd managed to convince himself that she was better off without him in her life. Now she at least had a chance for a normal life complete with a family and someone whose love for her wouldn't endanger her very life. Perhaps, he thought, with any luck they could be friends at least allowing him the opportunity to see her.   Turning, he moved back down the stairs. As he reached the foot of them, the lift's motor stopped and the heartbeat of its passenger became clear to his ears freezing him where he was.

She sagged against the wall of the lift, almost too weary to stand. She'd not slept in over twenty-four hours and that, combined with her injuries and the long, cold trip over here had sapped her energy. Closing her eyes, her mind drifted back to the last time she'd come here. The slight jostle of the lift stopping made her groan as pain shot through her body. Panting slightly, she grasped the heavy door and opened it. Her eyes drank in the room before her,
unchanged, as far as she could see, from the last time she'd been in it.   Across the room from her, a fire burned in the grate casting a soft, golden light. She moved instinctively toward it, her numbed mind not questioning the oddity of it burning if Nick were not here. She'd only taken a few steps when his voice stopped her in her tracks. Trembling, she turned her head in the direction of the sound and saw him. She felt her heart start to pound and managed to whisper his name as the world around her disappeared into blackness.

As the lift door opened and the slim figure stepped into the loft, Nick could only manage to breathe her name. He saw her stop and look in his direction.   What he saw shocked him. Only when he heard her call his name in a voice full of entreaty, did he finally move. As she started to collapse, he flew across the distance that separated them and caught her up in his arms. The chill of her skin alarmed him, she was dangerously cold for a mortal, and when he
gently brushed her wet hair from her face, the swollen lips, swollen and blackened eyes that he revealed brought tears to his eyes. Holding her too thin form in his arms he softly brushed his lips against her forehead, then held her head against his shoulder. "Nat, who did this to you?" He wondered aloud. The scent of her blood called to him, reminding him of the rich
sweetness he'd tasted the last time she'd been here.   

Nick hesitated only a moment before carrying Nat to the couch. Placing her gently on it he paused long enough to toss another log on the fire before hurrying up the stairs. Moments later he was back at her side, his arms laden with towels, blankets, and one of his sweat suits. As he sat beside her still form, she opened her eyes.

The first thing Nat was aware of was that she was that she was lying down and there was warmth nearby. An almost overwhelming urge to sleep washed through her, but stronger was the lure of the soft voice speaking her name. She opened her eyes and looked into Nick's clear blue eyes. "Nick, please, I didn't know where else I could go. Please, don't make me leave." She murmured. A cool hand caressed her forehead. 

"Hush, I'd never make you leave, Nat." Nick said, soothingly. "You need to get out of those wet clothes. I've brought you something to put on." 

Nat tried to undo the buttons on her coat, but her fingers were too numbed with cold to manage them. 

"Let me help you, Nat." Nick said as he gently moved her hands aside and undid the buttons. 

When he removed the light jacket she had on, Nick caught his breath as he saw the condition of her clothes. Her blouse was torn and bloody, her skirt rumpled and bloodstained too. One strap of her bra was broken and her underpants had been ripped. Nick felt as if a cold rock had settled in his stomach. Keeping his voice calm he asked, "Who did this to you, Nat?" 

"Jim, Jim Bresian," she said, her voice tremulous with emotion. A fit of shivering wracked her. 

Nick committed the name to memory, but for now his main concern had to be making Nat comfortable. Stripping the wet garments from her, Nick's face darkened as he saw the abrasions and bruises that dappled her body. When he noted the purpling hand marks on her neck, for an instant the vampire flared forth as the desire to rip apart Jim Bresian for having dared to hurt Nat like this roared in his blood.


Nick took a deep breath to regain control. He had time to deal with Bresian; right now he needed to get her dry and warm. He felt the vampire recede and only then did he begin to massage Nat's body with the towels, drying her and hopefully warming her as he did so. He flinched as she groaned when he touched some of the worse looking bruises. He slipped the sweat pants and top on her, wrapped her still damp hair in a towel, and then covered her with
blankets. That done, he sat beside her unable to resist softly stroking her face. He saw the tears that leaked from her eyes. As she brought her hand from under the blankets, he took it in his. "Nat, you have to report this.  I'll call Reese and arrange for someone to come here and take your statement."  He told her.

Nat at last nodded her consent. "I know, I just feel like such an idiot..." she started sobbing. 

Nick pulled her into his arms, holding her while she sobbed. He gently rubbed her back while murmuring reassuringly to her. When she calmed, he laid her back against the couch pillows. 

Nat gripped Nick's hand. "Don't leave me, Nick. If he finds me alone, he'll kill me." Her voice was barely a whisper, but Nick could hear the absolute terror in it.

Nick leaned forward and stoked her forehead, not quite daring to kiss her. "I won't leave you. You're safe now. I'll stay right beside you while you fall asleep." He promised, as he tucked the blanket back around her. He continued stroking her face and hand until his hearing, and the loosening of her grip on his hand, told him she'd fallen into a deep sleep.

Slipping her hand back under the blanket, Nick took the ruined clothes and carefully placed them in a plastic bag. He knew that the Crown prosecutor would need them as evidence. That done Nick went into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of blood. He took the bottle, and another one, and returned to the conversation area. Pulling the large leather chair closer to the
couch, he sat and gazed at Nat. He vowed that he would see to it that Bresian paid dearly for his actions. Reaching for the phone, he called the precinct.   He was fortunate and caught Reese before the Captain left for the day. Nick explained what had happened to Reese and the condition Nat was currently in.   They agreed that Reese would come to the loft, with a female officer, in about an hour and a half. That would give Nat at least a little rest before she had to relate what had happened to her. 

He'd finished both bottles when the sound of the door buzzer caused Nat to bolt upright with a cry of terror. In an instant Nick was beside her. "Easy, Nat, it's just Reese. Remember I told you I was going to call him?"

Nat drew a deep, calming breath. "Yes, I remember." She moved to sit more comfortably as Nick went to buzz in Reese. She dreaded having to tell about what had happened, but she knew that she could not let Jim get away with his treatment of her. 

Nick greeted Reese and Officer Miller, who'd accompanied him, at the door. A glance told him that Captain Reese was clearly concerned over Nat's welfare.  Nick was glad that it was Officer Miller who'd accompanied Reese. She was calm and professional; yet still projected a warm humanity that would make things easier for Nat. He flinched inwardly at the sight of the photography equipment Miller carried. Nick knew that photos of Nat's injuries were necessary, but that didn't mean he had to like the idea. 

Miller glanced curiously around at Detective Knight's loft. Like many others at the precinct she was intrigued by the handsome, blond man. Professionally, she noted that there was not any area in which she could photograph Dr. Lambert's injuries and, at the same time, provide the young coroner some privacy. "Excuse me, but is there a bedroom or some other room where I might set up my equipment?" she asked. 

"Yes, my bedroom is upstairs." Nick said. "You can use that." Nick realized why Miller wanted a separate room and was grateful. "If you'll excuse us, Captain, I'll show Miller where it is. Nat might be more comfortable talking just to you anyway." He added. 

Reese nodded, "Good idea, Knight. I want this to be as easy for her as possible."

After watching Miller go upstairs with Nick, Reese moved over to where Nat sat on the couch. He kept his face blank, not showing the dismay and anger that her appearance made him feel. Lowering his massive bulk into the chair Nick had recently vacated, Reese smiled and reached out to take Nat's hands in his.  "Tell me what happened, Natalie. Tell me everything so we can put the bastard that did this away." He said, in a quiet but commanding voice.

Nat looked into Reese's concerned brown eyes. A part of her wished Nick were beside her, but she also knew that telling what had happened to her would be, in some ways harder if he were there. She also knew that if he choose to, Nick could easily hear everything she said no matter where in the loft he was.  Nodding, she took a deep breath and began to speak. 

"When I was released from the hospital, I found out that the building my apartment was in had been sold and was to be torn down. I had less than one week to try and find a new place to live. I was at my wit's end, I didn't have the energy to go apartment hunting, and I didn't want to just take the first place I saw.

Jim Bresian was a physical therapist where I was going for rehab. He seemed very nice, friendly, and when he heard me talking about my dilemma offered to rent me the 'mother-in-law' suite in his house." 


Upstairs, Nick watched as Miller quickly began to set up the lights and other equipment that she'd brought. At the same time, he used his sensitive hearing to listen to what Nat was telling Reese. He knew it was a form of eavesdropping, but he had to know. He had to find out if there was any hope that he could have a second chance at loving Nat. 

"It seemed like a perfect solution. I would have the time I needed to find a new apartment, the rooms were already furnished so I wouldn't have to go through packing and unpacking twice, and Jim seemed like a gentleman. Looking back, I can see that from the first day there were warning signs, but at the time they didn't seem that ominous." Nat said. She looked Reese in the eye.   "We'd gone to dinner a couple of times, but we weren't in any sort of relationship. So far as I was concerned, I was just renting a place to stay from him." She sighed. "Unfortunately, he saw things very differently."

Nick closed his eyes and let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding when he heard Nat's words. She hadn't been romantically involved with this Bresian character. Perhaps, if he were very lucky, there might still be a chance to mend their relationship. 


Nat sat for a minute, collecting herself. "I should have seen the warning signs." She said, again. "Now, of course it seems so clear. The first day I moved in Jim had some cutting words about my choice of diet. He's into bodybuilding. As a matter of fact, I think that's one reason that I didn't really view him in a romantic way. He was far more interested in himself than anyone else. That should have warned me, too, I guess, but at the time..." 

Her voice trailed off.

"Always easy to see things like that afterwards." Reese said. "Sure would save a lot of pain though if we caught them sooner." He leaned toward Natalie. "Tell me what happened last night."

"I guess it really started the night before last." Nat said. "I woke up about four in the morning and found Jim standing beside my bed. When I asked him what he was doing in my room, he didn't say anything, but started to sit down on the bed. I yelled at him and he left.

Yesterday, I skipped my therapy class and went apartment hunting instead. I didn't find anything that I liked and could afford, but I did decide that I was going to move out. I'd stay at a hotel, but I just didn't feel comfortable staying in that house. When I got home, about six-thirty, I went to my room and started packing."

"Was Bresian home at the time?" Reese asked, taking notes. 

"No, and I thought that he wouldn't be in till late, about eleven. I thought I had plenty of time to pack and be gone." Nat said, her voice very soft.  "He must have sensed something was up, he came in about eight." Her eyes focused on a point beyond Reese as she continued to speak.




Sometimes, You Can Go Home Again (2/3)


(Flashback)

"What do you think you're doing?" 

Nat started at the sound of Jim's voice behind her. She turned and faced him.  "I'm packing. I'm moving out." She saw the muscles in his jaw tighten, but he didn't say anything, just turned, and left. Nat let out her breath, maybe this wouldn't be a hard as she feared. Quickly finishing up her packing, she took her suitcases and went out to her car. She stopped a few feet away, her stomach suddenly hurting as she looked at the slashed tires. "DAMN!" she swore, "if he thinks that this is going to stop me he's wrong." She headed back to the house to call a cab. 

She'd just picked up the phone when he hit her, knocking her down. She gasped in pain and tried to get back on her feet. Instead, she found herself hauled upright as Jim grabbed a handful of her hair and jerked on it. Frantically, she tried to free herself, raking her nails across his face. This only seemed to infuriate him and he cursed at her while at the same time his fist slammed into her face.

Nat felt the world spin, she tasted blood in her mouth, and her eyes filled with tears. "Jim, please, stop!" She cried. 

"Why? You deserve this, you're the one who's trying to leave!" He said.  "You move in here, flaunt yourself around me, and then you treat me like I don't exist!" 

Nat shook her head. "What are you talking about? I haven't moved in with you, I'm renting rooms from you." She realized as she saw his face darken that he wasn't about to be reasoned with tonight. Nat knew that if she were to have any chance of escaping without further injury she'd have to try and calm Jim. 

Changing her tone she said. "I'm sorry, Jim. I guess I just didn't realize that you had that kind of feelings toward me." She relaxed momentarily as she saw his angry expression soften. She managed to keep from pulling away as he cupped her face in his hand. 

"You didn't know." Jim said, his voice deceitfully affable. "You just thought that I was being a 'nice guy.'" He gave a short laugh and tightened his hold on her face. "No one but a fool is that nice, Natalie, and I'm not a fool.   When I see something that I want, I take it."

Nat tried to stay calm. "Please, Jim, you're hurting me." As his grip increased, she felt tears of pain spring into her eyes. Suddenly, he released her. Heart pounding, she slowly moved away from him. "Look, I'm going to go put my bags back in my rooms. Then maybe we can sit down and talk?"   Gathering her courage, she turned her back to him and headed for her rooms.   If she could just get back there, maybe she could block the door long enough to use the phone there to call for help. As she reached the door leading to the bedroom, sitting room and bath she'd been renting, she started to think that she might have pulled it off. As she turned to close the door, however, she realized she'd been mistaken. Jim had followed her and was now no more than six inches from her. 

"You don't think I'm dumb enough to let you just walk away from me, do you, Nat?" Jim said, grabbing her arm. 

"What do you mean? I don't think you're dumb." Nat tried to keep her voice from betraying her. 

"Liar!" Jim yelled as he slapped Nat in the face. 


<End Flashback>

Reese watched silently while Natalie composed herself. Something told him that Jim Bresian should be grateful for Knight's sun allergy. Reese hadn't missed the cold anger in Nick's eyes. He only hoped that Knight would let the system handle this. 


Nat sat still, taking deep breaths. At last, she was able to speak again.   "He beat me, off and on, for about five hours." She looked at Reese. "Do you need all the details?"

Reese patted her shoulder. "I know this is hard for you, Natalie. Just tell me as much as you can. The more we have, the easier it'll be to get the Crown prosecutor to file charges." 

"I know." Nat said.

(Flashback)

She lay curled on the floor. She'd lost track of time only being aware of each new pain as Jim had beaten her. She couldn't stand the thought of him touching her and had fought with all her strength. Unfortunately, her strength was woefully inadequate against him. For several hours now, he'd been drinking and with each ounce of alcohol he'd consumed, he'd gotten
progressively crueler.  She sobbed softly, praying for a chance to get away before he killed her.  When she heard him approaching, she struggled to stand. 

"I'm having fun, are you?" Jim asked. 

Nat tasted bile as his hands started to roam across her body. She gritted her teeth, trying to not encourage him in any way, but pulling back in resistance as he began to drag her toward his bedroom. 

"What's the matter? You think that I'm not as good as your precious Nick?"   Jim sneered. Seeing Natalie's stunned expression he laughed. "I'd stand outside your room at night and listen to you calling for him in your sleep. I promise you, I'm twice the man he is." He boasted, as he threw her on to the bed. 

Nat managed to roll as she landed on the bed, but Jim's weight on top of her quickly stopped her. As she struggled against him, he began to rip her clothing from her, his hands and mouth plundering her. 

Even though she knew that she would most likely fail, Nat struggled to escape. She would not just lie still and allow her body to be used by Jim Bresian, not when her heart belonged to Nick. 'Dear God, let me live through this and give Nick and I a second chance.' She prayed silently. Her hopes rose slightly as she realized that all the alcohol Jim had drunk was affecting his ability to function. Her relief was short lived as he brutally shoved his fingers inside her, causing her to scream in pain. She renewed her struggles as he continued to ram his fingers in her. To her horror, she realized that her pain was acting like an aphrodisiac on him. Trying to decrease his ability to rape her, she forced herself to lie completely still. 

Jim was enjoying the struggles of the woman beneath him. As she gasped in pain, he could feel his manhood at last stir. When she suddenly went limp, anger raged through him. He punched her several times, but only got the slightest grimace from her in response. Grinning evilly, he moved upward until he was straddling her lower chest. "Think you can just be still and I'll go away?" He rasped at her. "Let's see how long you can hold still when you're choking to death." He closed his hands around her slim throat, feeling the small scar on the left side, and squeezed. 

Nat's head felt as if it would explode as the pressure of Jim's hands on her neck prevented the blood from flowing. Her mouth gaped as she desperately tried to pull air into her lungs. Realizing that if she didn't act fast she was going to die, Nat exploded in one last attempt for freedom. Reaching toward Jim, she sized his testicles in her hand and gave them a savage twist
while squeezing with all of her strength. At the same time she bucked upward, forcing Jim to move upward too. The sound of his scream of agony was music to her ears, as he released his hold on her neck to grasp his abused anatomy.   Nat didn't fool herself that he would be incapacitated for long. Coughing and gasping for air, her eyes streaming with tears, she rolled out from under him and staggered to the door. Pulling her clothing together as best she could, 
Nat grabbed a jacket from the hall tree and rushed out the front door of the house. 

Blindly, she reeled down the drive moving as quickly as her battered body would allow. She'd been half running for nearly fifteen minutes when at last she had to stop and catch her breath. Ducking into a darkened doorway, she paused to assess where she was and what she was going to do. It was only then that she realized she was sobbing Nick's name over and over. 

A quick check of the jacket pockets found them to be empty. She had no money, no identification and was dressed in only her torn clothing and a lightweight jacket. Already the chill wind was making her shiver, but without money or even an ATM card with which to get some, she was going to have to try and get to safety on foot. Forcing herself to move, she started walking in the direction of Nick's loft. 

<End Flashback>

Reese looked at the petite woman in front of him. He'd always admired the lovely, young coroner but never more than he did at this moment. "He choked you, we can hopefully get him on attempted murder, instead of just assault."   He said. What he left unsaid was that the more serious charge would make it harder for Bresian to post bond. 

"Yes, I honestly think he would have killed me." Nat said. 

"You walked all the way over here? Must have taken you a long time." Reese said, shaking his head in amazement. 

"Around four hours." Nat replied quietly. She managed a small smile. "You'd be surprised at how cold wind and rain can encourage you to walk fast."

Reese reached over and squeezed her hands. "Too bad you didn't think to use a call box. Saved yourself a lot of unpleasantness if you had."

Nat met Reese's eyes. "All I could think of was that I had to get to Nick.  That if I could just do that, everything would be okay." She suddenly looked pained. "Captain, I'm worried about Sydney, my cat. I'm afraid that Jim will hurt him to punish me." She said.

"When we pick up Bresian, I promise I'll have a look around and see if I can find Sydney." He promised. 

"Thanks," Nat said, "once I know it's safe, I'll go back over to the house and get my clothes and Sydney." 

Reese nodded. "Nat, you know that in order to build a case, we've got to have pictures of your injuries. Miller's set up the equipment upstairs, so that you'll have some privacy." He said, still holding her hands. The sound of footsteps on the stairs made him look up. Somehow, he wasn't surprised to see Knight reappearing just now. Reese smiled inwardly as he watched the look that was exchanged between his best detective and one of the finest medical examiners he'd ever know. Whatever had happened between the two of them that had caused them to be alienated, Reese was willing to bet his month's pay had just been mended. 

Nick had listened to Nat's story from the top of the stairs, fighting to keep from rushing down stairs, gathering her in his arms, and promising her that no one would ever cause her pain again. Another part of him wanted to find Bresian and slowly tear him limb from limb. As Reese started talking about the necessary pictures, Nick went down the stairs. 

Nat knew as soon as she saw Nick's face that he'd heard every word. She didn't mind. She met his gaze and the love she saw in his eyes gave her courage. She looked back, hoping that he'd see the same love in her eyes. 

Nick walked over to where Nat and Reese were sitting. "Miller's ready." He told Reese. Turning to Nat he bent and slipping an arm around her said, "Let me help you up the stairs." The soft smile she gave him as she leaned into his strength made Nick feel better than he had in months. As they slowly moved up the stairs, Nick told Nat, "When Miller finishes with the pictures, you should just go on to bed and get some sleep." 

Nat shook her head, "I think I'd rather sleep on the couch." She saw the quick flicker of pain that crossed his face and added, "That way, maybe you could sit beside me again? I don't think I can sleep if I'm alone." 

Nick brushed a few strands of hair from her face. "I understand. I'll give you time to get redressed and then come and help you back downstairs." He smiled at her. "Don't worry, Nat. You really are safe now." The look Nat gave him was one of peace. 

"I know." She said, simply.

Less than an hour later, Miller and Reese were gone and Nat was sleeping soundly on the couch. Nick sat nearby the couch, content to just look at Nat as she slept. Reese had promised to call as soon as Bresian was arrested, but Nick knew that would probably not occur for several hours because to the time needed to get a warrant. 

Settling comfortably in the chair, Nick dozed, coming instantly alert each time Nat stirred. Then, he would kneel beside her, lovingly caressing her hair and murmuring assurances that she was safe. That she quickly sank back into sleep when he did this helped to ease the knot of pain and guilt that Nick had carried since the last time they'd been together. 

It was after sundown before Nat at last awakened. Opening her eyes, she was pleased to note that the swelling seemed to have abated some. For a moment, she wasn't sure where she was, then memory returned. She'd run away from Jim, run to the one person she still trusted more than anyone else, to the one place she'd always felt safe; to Nick. Turning her head slightly she saw him, dozing in the leather chair, within arms reach of her. She lay still watching him. She wondered if there was any hope of them starting over. She realized that the mess she was know in was do to her trying to deny what her heart had always known; that she wholly, completely and unconditionally was in love with Nick. When, after one visit, he'd stopped coming to see her in the hospital; she'd been hurt. She knew that she was to blame for the damage to their relationship. She had insisted that they try Janette's cure, even though neither of them was in a stable emotional state. When Nick had come to visit her, later in the hospital, she'd been terrified the entire time that he secretly hated her and that she'd done irreparable damage to his slow journey back to mortality. When he'd never again returned to visit, her pride had prevented her from calling him. Instead she'd become involved with Jim Bresian. Just thinking of him caused Nat to squeeze her eyes shut as a shudder of fear gripped her. When she reopened them, Nick's soft blue eyes were watching her.

He awakened in time to see Nat close her eyes, a look of terror on her face.   Not wishing to frighten her further he sat motionless until she once again opened her eyes and looked at him. "How are you feeling?" He asked, as he noted that some of the swelling seemed to have eased. 

"Better than I have any right to feel." Nat said, ruefully. "I'm a little hazy on everything that happened this morning. Did I thank you for not turning me away?"

Nick moved from the chair to sit beside her on the couch and took her hands in his. "Yes, you did." He hesitated then asked. "Did you really think I might turn you away?" He kept his voice soft, not wanting to upset her.

Nat squeezed his hands. "No, I guess I didn't. When I ran, the only place I could think of to run to was here. I knew that if I could just make it here, to you, I'd be safe." She swallowed before continuing. "Being with you always made me feel safe, it still does." She admitted. 

Nick raised her hands to his and softly kissed her fingers. "Thank you for telling me that. You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say it." 

Nat heard the pain in his voice, and freeing one hand lightly caressed his cheek. "Nick, what happened that night wasn't your fault. I should never have forced you into trying Janette's cure when we both had been through so much tumult." She met his eyes. "I was just so frightened that you were going to leave with LaCroix and I'd never see you again..." She broke off, as
Nick pulled her into a gentle embrace. She leaned against him; her soul comforted by the feel of his caring, and wrapped her arms around him in a fierce hug. 

Nick reached for Nat and gently embraced her, being careful to allow her to pull away if his holding her made her uncomfortable. When he felt her arms tighten about him, he too, tightened his hold on her. With a sound that was almost a sob, he pressed her head against his shoulder, fingers tangled in the wildness of her auburn curls, his cheek resting on the top of her head. He was filled by the scent of her blood and the sound of it as it rushed through her veins, as well as the warm feel of her soft body against his. Nick rocked softly back and forth as he held her, the aching emptiness he'd felt since that last night at the hospital at last eased. Even as it did, he could feel the vampire clamoring for the remembered sweetness of Nat's blood and for the unique sense of peace that it had found in it. Nick took several deep breaths as he struggled for control.

Nat closed her eyes and relaxed as Nick's arms held her snuggly against him.   The remembered firmness of his chest, the powerful yet gentle strength of his embrace, and the spicy scent of his soap and after-shave all combining to reinforce her sense of security. When she felt his deep inhalations, she realized that he must have been battling to control his vampiric urges.   Carefully she pulled back a little from him. "Nick, I am truly enjoying this, but right now I have to use the restroom." She said with a small grin. She was sincere; her body was letting her know that it did need some attention. 

Nick smiled back at her. "Let me help you up." He said. As he assisted her in standing, he couldn't miss the grimaces of pain that crossed her face.   Once again, anger at whomever had done this course through him. "Nat, I think you could use a good, hot soak or at the least a hot shower to ease your muscles a bit."

"Umm, I think I'd better settle for a shower. I'm not sure I'd ever be able to get out of a tub." Nat said. 

Nick helped her up the stairs to the bedroom and adjoining bath. "I'll see about getting some food for you while you shower." He told her. "I had some clothes delivered for you while you were sleeping," he said indicating the packages on the bed. He started for the door, turning back as he reached it.   "Nat, I'm glad you're here."

Nat looked at him. "I'm glad I'm here, too." She watched as he smiled and then left the bedroom. Going into the bathroom, Nat stripped off the sweat outfit and forced herself to look in the mirror at the damage Jim had done to her. She'd been unable to bring herself to look earlier when Miller had finished with the pictures. The looks of dismay that she'd seen on Miller and Reese's faces had told her enough. 

Gingerly probing at a particularly dark bruised area on her side, she decided that she most likely had at least a couple of cracked ribs. To her relief, none of the other injuries appeared to be serious enough to require seeing a doctor. Even though she knew it to be foolish, she didn't want anyone else that she knew to see her in this shape. Facing Reese and Miller had been
difficult enough. Finished with her examination, she turned on the shower and stepped under the steaming spray. For several minutes she just stood under the soothing warmth then washed carefully, gasping as soap stung when it got into some still raw wounds. After shampooing her hair, she rinsed off and wrapping a fluffy towel around her, padded back into the bedroom. Finding the clothes, she dressed. She smiled as the soft material of the slacks and sweater caressed her skin. Moving slowly, she went back downstairs. 

End Part 2



Sometimes, You Can Go Home Again (3/3)



Nick looked up as Nat came back downstairs. With her hair freshly washed and dressed in a pair of slacks and pullover sweater, she looked considerably better than she had upon her arrival. He smiled. "I wasn't sure just how hungry you were or what you felt like eating, so I had the market deliver a sort of sampler pack." He motioned toward a large bag that was on the counter. "I did figure that you'd want coffee, so I made a pot." 

Nat looked in the bag smiling at the eggs, bread, juice, canned soups, and fresh fruits. "I think I'll start with some toast, juice and melon." She said. "And a nice cup of coffee." She started to remove the items from the bag when Nick stopped her. 

"That much 'cooking' I can manage. Go sit back down on the couch and I'll bring it to you." He said, handing her a mug of coffee. "Two spoons of sugar and cream, right?"


Nat took the mug. "Right." Holding it carefully, she went back and settled on the couch. She sipped the hot liquid, wincing as it stung her bruised lips. In a few moments, Nick came over with a small tray bearing her meal.   Sitting it on the table in front of the couch, he went back into the kitchen and got his own 'meal'. He sat in the chair, and sipped from his glass as Nat
ate. 

When Nat had finished eating, she looked at Nick and gathering her courage began to speak. "Nick, I want you to understand why I got involved with Jim Bresian, and in order for you to understand that, I need to tell you everything," she said. 

(Flashback - two weeks after SOME the events that occurred in Last Knight)

The smell told her that she was in a hospital even before she opened her eyes.  Beeps and other sounds told her that she was attached to a variety of monitoring equipment. With an effort she managed to open her eyelids to look at a standard hospital room. Not ICU, so she was not considered to be in danger of dying. How long had she been here? Where was Nick? The bright light seeping through the closed drapes answered the last question. She slowly turned her head, finally seeing the phone on the bedside table. She attempted to reach it, but found that she didn't have the strength to raise herself far enough from the mattress to do so. 'Call a nurse. Have them dial for me.' She thought as she slipped back into sleep. 

When she awakened again later that evening, Nick had been there. When she opened her eyes, he was standing beside the bed, looking down at her. Nat tried to smile, wanting him to know that she didn't blame him for her being here. The look on his face froze the smile before it ever began. Nick looked at her expressionlessly, no sign of relief, anger, sorrow, or any other emotion visible. Nat felt a chill shake her body. After a moment, he turned and walked out the door leaving her lying, too weak to go after him, with tears running down her face.


Although she'd spent three more weeks in the hospital, Nick never again came to see her. At first, once she had the strength, she'd phoned the loft leaving messages on his answering machine. Her recovery was slow; she really didn't care if she got better. She didn't want to admit that without Nick, she felt lost. 

Grace was a frequent visitor. When she'd heard of Nat's 'accident' Grace had immediately gone to Nat's building and convinced the superintendent to allow her to enter Nat's apartment. There, she'd retrieved Sydney and taken him home with here. Nat knew that she would always owe Grace a debt of gratitude for that. She also knew that Grace would laugh at the suggestion of such an idea.

The prolonged bed rest had its effect on Nat's body. When she was at last pronounced physically well enough to be allowed out of bed, Nat found that she was a weak as a newborn kitten. On orders from her doctor, she began daily trips to physical therapy. 

Jim Bresian was totally the opposite of Nick. Where Nick was at times dour, Jim always seemed to be cracking a joke. He was very tall and massively built with dark brown hair and dark eyes. Instead of Nick's pale skin, Jim's was golden from the sun. 

When he started paying what seemed like special attention to her, Nat was more than willing to try and return it. Since it appeared that Nick no longer wished to be a part of her life, or to have her in his, Nat was desperate to fill the empty abyss in her heart. She was even able to overlook Jim's less desirable traits in her effort to forget Nick. 


(End Flashback)

Nat looked at Nick. "I know now that it was a useless effort. You, for better or worse, are a part of me. When we made love, we also forged a connection that will never be broken. When you were drinking from me, I saw all the horrors you've experienced, all the terrible things that you've done, but they were all pallid images compared to the love I felt from you." She
paused. "I still love you, Nick. I think now more than ever because now I truly do understand all that you've battled."

Nick couldn't speak, instead he gathered into his arms feeling the way she molded against his body. All of his hopes, his prays of having a second chance with Nat seemed to be being answered. He lifted her chin and tenderly kissed her bruised face. "I love you, Nat. I will always love you and I want to be with you, forever, if that's what it comes to." He told her, at last admitting to himself that he could not exist with out her, even if that meant bringing her into his darkness. 

Nat smiled at him. "As long as I'm with you, I'll be happy." She said. She lay her head on his shoulder. "I've missed you so much." She murmured.  

Nick tightened his hold on her. "Never again, Nat. I'll never let you go again." He promised. They sat, quietly enjoying just being with each other until the phone rang. 

Nick answered it and when he hung up, returned to Nat. "That was Captain Reese. He wanted to let you know that they arrested Bresian about three hours ago on assault and attempted murder charges. He also wanted to let you know that he saw Sydney and, so far as Reese could tell, he's unharmed." 

Nat closed her eyes. "Thank goodness." She breathed. She looked at Nick.  "I need to get my things out of his house. Do you suppose you could lend me enough for a taxi?" 

Nick shook his head. "I've got a better idea. I'll take you over in a taxi, then go pick up the Caddie while you get your stuff together. I'll pick you up on the way back."

Nat kissed him on the cheek. "I was hoping you'd say that." She confessed.

A short time later, Nick watched as Nat unlocked the door to the house. Nick wanted to make sure Nat could handle being in this place before he went after the Caddie. He'd insured the cab would wait for him by means of an early tip and the promise of more when they got to the garage. He eased an arm around her waist as they stepped inside. He felt her press against him and he was glad that he'd stayed. 

Nat took a deep breath as they entered the house. If Nick weren't here with her, she wasn't sure she could have found the courage to walk back into this place that held such painful memories. They'd barely cleared the threshold when a gray, furry mass launched itself at their ankles, purring wildly. Nat dropped to her knees and gathered Sydney up in her arms. Hugging her cat, she rubbed her cheek against his fur. "Oh Syd, I was so afraid that he'd hurt
you." She said, tears of relief running down her cheeks. She sensed Nick kneeling beside her and then felt his arm encircle her shoulders. "I'm okay, Nick. I'm just so glad that he didn't hurt Syd." She explained.  


"I know. I'm glad Sydney's okay, too." Nick said. "But I'm more concerned that you're okay. Why don't we both go get the car and then come back? I don't like leaving you alone here." He said as he helped her to her feet. 

"I'll be fine. Jim's locked up and the house isn't going to hurt me." Nat said confidently. "I'll get Sydney ready to travel and make sure I have all my stuff while you're gone." She smiled at him and made shooing motions toward the door. "Go on, go get your car." 

Nick leaned forward and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. "I shouldn't be gone more than thirty minutes." He told her as he headed back to the waiting taxi. 

Nat watched from the door until the taxi drove off then straightening her shoulders closed the door and turned back to the now silent house. She hadn't wanted Nick to see how just being back inside here made her stomach cramp with anxiety. 'Get a grip, Lambert, it's just a house.' She mentally told herself.

Carrying Sydney she walked swiftly to her suite turning on lights as she went from room to room. She was pleased to see that Jim apparently hadn't bothered to damage her possessions; her suitcases seemed to be exactly where she'd put them last night. She found Sydney's carrier and eased him into it. Leaving it on the bed, she walked into the kitchen to gather his feeding dishes and food. 


Nick paid the cab driver, including a sizable tip, and went over to where the Caddie was parked. On the front seat was an itemized bill for the work that had been done. Nick knew that as usual the cost had already been charged to his credit card. Sliding behind the wheel he started the engine and drove rapidly out of the parking lot. He glanced at his watch and smiled. He'd easily be back to pick up Nat before the thirty minutes he'd estimated. He was about three miles from Bresian's house when his cell phone rang.   Frowning, Nick answered it.

"Knight?" Reese's voice inquired. "I've been calling you place with no luck.  Please tell me that Dr. Lambert is with you."

"No, Captain, she's not. I'm on my way over to Bresian's now to pick her up.  She needed to get her things from there." Nick said, concern showing in his voice. His concern jumped several notches when he heard Reese cursing softly on the other end. "Captain? What's wrong?"

"Nick, I don't know how to tell you this, but there was a mix-up down at central booking and I just found out that they let Bresian loose." Reese said, his voice a blend of anger and misery. "Some newly hired clerk didn't notice the attempted murder charge and did a misdemeanor release based on the assault charge." 

"How long ago?" Nick asked, a feeling of dread in his stomach.

"Over an hour." Reese replied. "I just sent a cruiser over to the house, it should be there in about fifteen minutes."


"I'm only a few blocks away. Nat and I will wait until the cruiser arrives before we leave." Nick said. "I'll call you back as soon as I know that Nat is safe." Nick told Reese as he hung up. He didn't want to think about the possibility that Bresian was already at the house, alone with Nat. As he approached the house, Nick used his enhanced hearing and realized that Bresian was already inside with Nat.

Pulling the Caddie into the drive, Nick jumped out and raced to the back door.  Flinging it open, he rushed in and shouted Nat's name.

Nat had just finished cleaning out Sydney's litter box and putting it in a plastic bag when the voice behind her spoke.

"Well, well talk about 'déjà vu'. Bresian said, his anger evident.

Nat felt as if she were going to be ill. She dropped the bag and whirled around. Jim Bresian stood blocking the doorway. "How did you get out of jail?" She blurted.

"Why was I in jail to begin with, Natalie? You didn't think that you would get away with that did you?" He snarled at her, his fists clinched at his side.

Nat could feel her heart pounding. She stole a glance at the clock. Nick had only been gone a little more than twenty minutes. She knew that her only chance was to keep Jim talking until Nick returned. "Jim," she began quietly.  She involuntarily flinched when he began to scream at her. 

"How dare you press charges against me!" Bresian raged at her. "You thought you were rid of me, but you're not. This time I'll finish what I started and I'll make sure that they never find what's left of you. Let's see them prosecute me then."

Nat was thankful that the bed was between them. In order for him to get to her, he'd have to move out of the doorway. She said a silent prayer that Nick would return soon. "Jim," she started again, "I'm sorry about having to inform the police." She was lying through her teeth, but she needed to calm him if she was going to survive. She tried to gauge the effect of her words on Jim.  "Listen, just let me take my things out of here and I'll see if I can't get the charges dropped." Nat wondered how he'd managed to get released from jail so quickly with an attempted murder charge.


"They should never have been filed in the first place!" Jim yelled. He moved farther inside the room.

Nat move slowly toward the end of the bed; the last thing she wanted was to be trapped where she was. Still trying make him realize that he couldn't succeed with his plan, she continued. "You won't get away with killing me, Jim. Nick knows that I'm here, as do other people. If I disappear they're going to know that you're responsible."

Jim smiled. "I see, Nick knows. Is that who you ran to last night? As for you disappearing, I'm not worried. Without proof that you're dead there isn't much they can do to me. Oh everything's going to work out just fine." He said menacingly. 

Nat felt the blood drain from her face. She glanced around frantically for something, anything to use as a weapon. Desperate she grabbed a copy of a pathology text. As Jim lunged toward her, Nat swung the book as hard as she could, hitting him in the face. Seeing that she'd at least temporarily stunned him, she bolted for the door. She'd only gone a few steps before Bresian grabbed her from behind. At the same moment, she heard Nick's voice calling her name. "NICK!" She screamed, then grunted in pain as Bresian slammed her against the wall, dazing her and knocking the wind out of her.   She saw him draw back his hand to hit her and cowered as she waited for the blow to land. 

"Bresian, let her go!" Nick's voice rang out from the doorway. He was struggling to contain his beast, fury at the sight before him causing it to demand retribution. 

Bresian looked over his shoulder; still holding Nat pinned to the wall. He sneered as he saw the slender, blond man that stood there. "So this is the famous Nick," he said to Natalie. "Do yourself a favor, Nick, get out of here." 

"No, I'm not leaving Nat here with you. Now you do yourself a favor and LET HER GO." Nick said. He could feel his beast trying to surface. "If you don't, I promise you that you will regret it." 

Bresian laughed, he easily outweighed the other man and was far more muscular. "Am I suppose to be worried that you are going to going to hurt me?" He asked Nick, almost laughing.

Nick merely raised an eyebrow. He could feel the beast and he was almost relishing it. At last he spoke, "Last chance, let Nat go, now."  

Nat stood motionless, unable to move because of Jim's weight holding her against the wall. She was no longer afraid, she knew that Nick would not permit Bresian to harm her further. She could tell by the expression on his face and the way that the muscles in Nick's jaw were set that he was barely controlling his beast. Any doubts were vanquished by the tone of his voice.   Nat had only heard Nick use that tone a few times in the past, the most memorable being the night he'd killed the young vampire, Spark, who'd tried to take her. 

The way Nick was watching him was starting to make Bresian uneasy. Granted the man didn't appear to be a match for him, but there was something in his expression that reminded Bresian of some type of large, sleek cat or perhaps a wolf. A certain surety that he was the predator and Bresian the prey. "I don't think so. Tell you what, though, I'll make sure I leave you conscious, that way you can watch me use this bitch and then kill her." Bresian said, trying to bolster his own self-confidence. He looked away from Nick as he continued. "Just let me make sure she's not in a condition to try and make a break for it while I take care of you." He said as he, once again drew back his fist to hit Natalie. 

In the next instant, Bresian heard a roar from behind him then found himself looking into the face of a demon. He screamed as pain radiated from his right wrist, which was firmly in the demon's grip.


As Bresian started to swing at Nat, Nick's anger overwhelmed him. Eyes blazing red with fury and fangs fully descended he was across the room in less than a second, moving faster than mortal eyes could follow. Seizing his prey's wrist, Nick pulled Bresian away from Nat and then slowly began to tighten his grip. His vampire side heard with satisfaction the crunching sounds of the man's wrist bones disintegrating under the pressure. Nick slammed Bresian against the wall. "You had a chance, now you are mine." He hissed. Nick fully intended to slowly tear this man to bits. 

Nat stayed where she was for a moment, stunned at Nick's appearance. She'd never seen him this enraged. A remembered image from when Nick had drunk from her surfaced. Nick, during the first century of his vampiric existence, angrily ripping to shreds a man that had dared to attempt to harm Janette.   "Nick, don't!" Nat called out. 

Nick turned his head at the sound of Nat's voice. Doubt, always a familiar companion, stabbed at his heart. "Why not, Nat? He's hurt you, he must pay for that." He fixed his rage-reddened eyes on her. "Or do you secretly love him?" 

Nat stopped halfway to where Nick held Bresian, stunned that he could even think that she had any feeling except hate for Bresian. Then she saw beyond the enraged visage to the man she loved. A man always so unsure of his worthiness to be loved and so sure that he was a monster. Taking a breath, she walked up to Nick and placed her hand on his arm. 

"Because you are an officer of the law and you know that the proper thing to do is to let the law handle this. Because if you allow yourself to take the revenge you crave now, you will regret it later." She said, looking directly into Nick's eyes. "I don't care at all about him, a part of me even enjoys the idea of him suffering." She admitted. She raised her other hand to Nick's face. "But I do care about you, about us. I don't want anything to ever drive a wedge between us again, Nick. Do I secretly love Jim Bresian?   No. You are only one man that I have ever loved and I've never stopped loving you. Please, Nick, for us, don't do this." She saw Nick close his red hued eyes at her last words and, when he reopened them, his familiar blue color had returned. They shared a long moment where no words were needed. The sound of someone pounding on the front door of the house broke the spell. 

"That will be the patrol car that Reese sent over." Nick said.

"I'll go let them in," Nat said, "while you take care of things here." She indicated the still whimpering Bresian. Seeing Nick's nod, she left the room.


Nick turned back to the man he'd nearly killed. Listening, he caught the rhythm of Bresian's heartbeat. "You never saw me changed." Nick told him.  "You hurt your wrist trying to escape." When Bresian repeated the instructions, Nick added. "You will never go anywhere near Natalie Lambert again." 'And if you do, I will have your life.' Nick thought. Finally
satisfied that Bresian would not reveal his secret, Nick cuffed him. He'd just finished when Nat returned with two uniform officers. "Get him out of here, and be sure that you make a note that he again attempted to assault Dr. Lambert." Nick told them before adding. "Have someone look at his wrist, I think he may have broken it." The uniforms nodded and led Bresian from the house. 

Nat walked over and Nick pulled her into his arms. "I should have never left you here." He said holding her close to him. "If I'd only taken you with me..."


Nat put her fingers on his lips. "Shh, you didn't know this would happen.  You can't blame yourself for everything that goes wrong, Nick. I won't allow it." She said teasingly. When he appeared to be about to continue, she silenced him with her lips, smiling as she felt his response to her kiss.   When they broke the kiss, Nick still kept her in his arms. "Thank you for believing in me." He murmured. Nat grinned, "How could I not?" 

Nick hugged her. "Let's get Sydney and your stuff and go home." 

"Home." Nat said, softly. "I like the sound of that." 

Finis

All comments to cstar@airmail.net or forevrnite@usa.net

Marci C (aka Nightlady) Proud Survivor of Wars 8&9
N&NP; NH Wife #17; MadNat; Sr Delight -DSS Convent; KHS; NA; V4S;
TxKD;KB;GWDFC;NA; FoD; DarkNN; 
email: cstar@airmail.net, forevrnite@usa.net
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